becoming a mom.

not everyone gets to be a mom.
i get that.
i know that.
i know people who, for whatever reason, just can't have kids.
or have lost kids.
and mother's day for them is really, terribly hard.
pure heartache.
i always try & remember them.
pray for them.
love on them.

because i know it's a gift,
this mom thing.
a gift i literally can think about
and i lose it.
instantly.

what a gift
to mother these 3 girls of mine.
sometimes i don't feel deserving.
i screw up.
i yell.
i lose my patience.
i say things i don't mean.

but they love me anyways!
unconditionally.
(if that ain't a lesson on God's love, i don't know what is!)

these girls.
becoming my friends.
my constant companions.

i dreamed of becoming a mother since i was a little girl.
it was all i ever wanted.
all i ever hoped for.

and here i am
living my dream.

thank you audrey, ellie, & eden for making me a mother.
(and tim. you had a tiny role in that too. hehe.)
although i want you to enjoy being little without a care in the world forever,
it is my privilege & JOY to watch you grow up.
you are a gift to me.
God's gift.
and i take my role as your mom very seriously (most times. wink.)

i hope to gently & prayerfully lead you & guide you & challenge you & inspire you
straight to Jesus.
i hope to always be the one to rub your back when you're tired.
and brush your hair when it's knotty.
and laugh our faces off about everything+nothing.

but as much as i hope you run to me forever+ever, i want you to run to Jesus more.
that's all this momma heart really wants for you.
for you 3 to fall madly in love with Jesus one day.
and stay my bff forever, but that's a minor detail.

His grace is sufficient!


happy mother's day to all my momma friends.
[a little late, i know]
you inspire me to be better.
and i'm thankful we're all in this together.